Category Archives: Random Rants

Dog Food Conspiracy – Is your dog a drug addict?

In the ‘Old Days’ we would feed our dogs what ever food was at hand. We would buy any dog food that was available in our local shop, which was usually tinned dog food.
One day we’d feed our furry friend one brand of tinned dog food, and the next day it may be another brand, and the dog food would be intermixed with scraps from the dining table.
Now it seems dogs have become addicted to having to be fed one single brand of dog food only.
To change from one kibble (dried food) to another brand, the advised ‘wisdom’ is that you must introduce it slowly, over a period of a couple of weeks by adding increasing amounts of the new food to your dogs current kibble while decreasing the old food.
The argument is that dogs have delicate stomachs, and to switch randomly from one particular brand to another brand will make them unwell, and possibly cause behavioural problems. Surely if that was the case, dogs would have become extinct the moment they became domesticated.
Barley the Lurcher
I’m guilty of feeding my dog, Barley the Lurcher, kibble, but I make sure he also has a lot of other freshly made food to keep a healthy balance.
The reason I say I’m guilty of feeding Barley kibble is because I’m not sure it’s especially nutritionally valuable for dogs. The packaging doesn’t even tell you what exactly is in the kibble.
In an ideal World I would not feed kibble to Barley, or any dog in our family, but the trouble is, kibble is just so convenient.
Blog post by Richard Randall

Libya, a civil war

It looks like another ‘Arab Spring’ country is sinking into civil war. It is not really surprising. The West funded the civil war and put in place a puppet government. A government that did not unite any of the factions in Libya. The only real surprise is that it has taken 2 years.
Ali Zaidan, the prime minister was kidnapped and now the assination Libya’s military police commander, Ahmed al-Barghathi. I can almost smell the smoke rising over Tripoli.
What really makes me laugh is the fact that the U.K., U.S.A. and Italy plan to train Libyan army cadres at a base in Cambridgeshire, England. Training local cadres, worked so well in Afghanistan, NOT. Training them of British soil is an insane idea. How easy would it be for them to leave the army base armed to the teeth with automatic weapons and go on a killing spree.

Ikea Home Delivery

A couple of weeks ago we ordered some furniture from the Ikea store in Gateshead, but because we did not want it straight away it was to be delivered from the central warehouse. The lady who served us in Ikea said that it would be ready after the 16th of September, and that the delivery company would phone to arrange a date and time for delivery that was agreeable with us.
The delivery company did phone on the 16th of September. At 8.30am they called and said they would arrive within the hour.
While this was good for me, I’m betting not every customer is so time flexible. And Mrs.R was most unimpressed, because she was sound asleep, so I had to wake her up to tell her the ‘good news’ about our imminent furniture delivery.
Our Ikea purchases arrived exactly one hour after the phone call, the guys wasted no time off-loading our stuff from their lorry, well, almost all of our stuff.
The Karlsfors sofa was missing. This was ironic as it was the sofa that had put our delivery back even further than we had wanted. We’d wanted a few days breathing space, after making our purchases, to get the house a bit more sorted, before we filled it with flatpack fluff. So, we waited longer, and the item that kept us waiting ended up not being on the delivery truck.
This meant a phone call to Ikea Customer Services.
The first time I tried to call I was in the queue for 30 minutes before I gave up.
The next time I called, a little later in the day, I had to wait 41 minutes before I managed to speak to someone at Ikea. They promised to sort out the problem, and call me back.
The Ikea call was a waste of time, because the second I hung up the phone, the delivery company phoned and said that the sofa had been put on the wrong lorry that morning, and that it would now be delivered later that afternoon, which it was.
The worst part of the Ikea ‘customer service’ phone call is the fact that it was not a freephone number, so I ended up paying a lot of money in call charges for a problem caused by them.
Ikea Customer Service SUCKS.

By Richard Randall

Farmfoods – Only in England

Today a leaflet popped through my letterbox for a shop called Farmfoods. Given the name you would think that it sold fresh fruit and vegetables, or at the very least frozen fruit and vegetables. It seems this is not the case. Or maybe there are now special farms in England that grow Pizza’s on trees, and Chicken Curry in greenhouses.
The wonders of modern agriculture never cease to amaze me.
I’m hoping that there is a farm that grows bottles of beer on trees, and you can pick your own for a small fee. 🙂


By Richard Randall

Ikea Gateshead or Hell. They are one and the same

If Dante Alighieri was alive today, he would have made Ikea one of the circles of hell in the Inferno (?Divine Comedy?).
I’m not sure what sins I’ve committed that made it necessary for me to have to endure the horror of a shopping trip to Ikea in Gateshead, but they must have been very bad sins.
The morning started well. The drive to Gateshead from Easington Colliery was not bad, and we only hit traffic for the last couple of miles.
When we arrived at Ikea, at about 9.15am, there were only a few other cars in the car park.
Ikea opens at 10am for shopping, but the restaurant opens at 9:30am.
As soon as the clock struck 9.30am, all of the awaiting punters rushed from their cars to the restaurant for breakfast.

Ikea Breakfast

We were feeling hungry, so we thought if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, so we ordered two 9 item breakfasts, and two cups of coffee, which came to an amazingly reasonable £4.70. Drink refills are free, which is good, although we only wanted one coffee. Overloading on caffeine before we had to shop would not have been a good idea.
From then on the morning went downhill fast, because we started shopping.
As so many couples seem to visit Ikea together, I wonder if the trip is ever a catalyst to breaking-up? I would imagine very few people are in Ikea for the fun of it, and the time it takes to walk round the store picking furniture that none of us really want, or more specifically need, must be a very stressful experience.

Ikea Gateshead

Mrs.R and I had words. It was not a pleasurable experience, to say the least. My wife said I don’t listen to her. I disagreed, telling her I do listen. This conversation was followed by me ordering the sofa I wanted, the sofa Mrs.R dislikes. I have no idea why she thinks I don’t listen to her. 😉
On a positive note we did manage to buy a lot of furniture for our house, and the bill came to only £1200. While £1200 is a lot of money, it is a tiny fraction of what we paid for similar items for the home we used to own in France.

Ikea Gateshead

Two hours after we first started shopping we made it to the check-out, and finally outside into the sunlight and freedom. I don’t think we’ve ever been happier to leave a shop.
Ikea was done and dusted, and hopefully it’s a never to be repeated experience. We headed back to Easington Colliery, marriage intact. 🙂

Kate Middleton – Royal Baby Watch – No News Yet

Has the Duchess of Cambridge given birth yet?
At the time of uploading this post, the answer is no.

Am I the only one who’s not particularly excited, or interested in the upcoming birth of Kate and Williams baby?
I say Kate, but apparently she’s now referred to as Catherine, because according to to reports the palace didn’t think Kate was a suitable name for a royal. But I digress, it’s all about the happy couples new born baby, which if the video in todays Daily Telegraph is anything to go by, is pretty important. At least it is to some people, but then we do have a big problem with mental health in the UK.

I couldn’t be less interested in the latest sprog to join our royal family.
Although evidently I’m interested enough to write about it.
Not sure why exactly. Maybe it’s because no matter how I try I can’t seem to escape news of the impending birth. It’s everywhere; on TV, on the radio, in newspapers, and magazines, and all over the Internet.
Actually I will be glad when the 3rd in line to the British throne, after Prince William, and Prince Charles, is finally born. Once it’s here, all this birth business will be over, although no doubt that will soon be replaced with more nonsense about its names, what it looks like, who it resembles etc.
Oh dear God, it’ll never end, will it?

The reason I’m not excited, or interested in the sex, the name, the weight….. of the baby of Kate and William is because of the ludicrous expense. The expense that will be passed on to the already struggling decent tax paying people of Britain.
British tax payers are among the highest taxed in the World. The British Royal family, the head of which is Queen Elizabeth II, is seriously wealthy. The Queen herself is a billionaire. Surely the proud grandmother-to-be should pay for all expenses.
I know as I write this that there will be people who say, ‘the royal family bring millions of pounds to Britain blah blah blah’, and that the royal family costs each tax layer just 2p per year. Haha! It’s actually quite scary that people believe that figure.
See, I told you we have a big problem with mental health in the UK.

I’m not a baby hater, I like babies, I just don’t like the fact that it’s regular hardworking people, maybe some of whom can’t afford a precious child of their own, who are going to have to pay for this new arrival. It’s outrageous, especially considering that she, or he, will be born in to one of the richest families in the World.
Life is unfair, but this takes the biscuit.
It’s funny how so many people criticise people who don’t work, people who are on the dole. They moan that they work, pay their taxes, struggle to make ends meet, and so they don’t want to pay for scroungers to sit at home watching Jeremy Kyle……. They bang on and on about these people, saying they’re uneducated, bad parents, scroungers. And yet they say nothing about the biggest scroungers in Britain, the royal family.
As well as the obscene expense that the baby of Prince William and Kate will burden the tax payers with, is the way the politicians will use the news to manipulate the electorate. That’s really for another blog post, but you just know it’ll happen. David Cameron will use the birth of the royal baby to his advantage in some way. That’s also scary that he thinks we can’t see what he’s doing. Surely he can’t truly believe we’re all so stupid. See, yet again I’ll say it, we do have a big problem with mental health in Blighty.

In trying to be less negative about this event, I watched the videos of the, clearly crazy, royalists dressed in their patriotic garb, with union jacks fluttering, holding their handwritten signs (words that neither Kate or William will read) expressing their joy, about the newest royal baby, I was determined to feel something positive. I failed.
While I really do appreciate that it’s pleasant to read a news story about something less gloomy and depressing than war, the economic crisis, corruption, the failing NHS, rape, murder, child abuse etc. I just can’t understand the people who have been camping, for several days, outside the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital in West London, which is presumably where they think Catherine will give birth.

They may well be disappointed because there are rumours that Catherine, or The Duchess of Cambridge as is her proper title, may actually give birth at the Royal Berkshire Hospital in Reading.
Oh well, at least they’ll have had a nice couple of days in the capital city, where it has been lovely and sunny and warm now that Summer has finally arrived.

It isn’t just die-hard royalists waiting outside St Mary’s Hospital, there are stepladders everywhere, belonging the Worlds assorted media, to guard their positions for when they need to snap away at even the slightest movement, any sign at all that news of the royal birth is to be announced.

Hmm, it’s all quite crazy.
Then there are the amusing Internet rumours about surrogate mothers, and celebrity surrogates, because The Duchess of Cambridge is not actually pregnant herself.
I even read one highly hilarious rumour that the ‘star’, and I use the word loosely, of the car-crash TV show that is ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’, aka Kim Kardashian, who recently gave birth to a baby, fathered by her partner Kanye West, was in fact pregnant with twins, one of whom was going to be passed off as the child of Kate, or Catherine, or The Duchess of Cambridge.
Haha! Oh how, I love a good Internet conspiracy. 😉

The 13th of July was widely reported to be the expected due date of Kate and Williams baby, but it’s still not here.
Maybe the surrogate got her dates wrong? 😉

Death of a Cigarette Rolling Machine

5 bloody days was all that it lasted, and I was only making cigarettes for myself and not the whole of South East England. The sodding machine cost £9, £9 down the drain. If it had the makers name on it, I would be sending them lots of messages letting them know just what I thought of their product. Many swear words would have flown over the internet.
I’ll just have to ‘take it on the chin’ and find a better one.
Without it, I’m all fingers and thumbs and one of the hand gestures I would like to display to the manufacturers involves a finger and thumb.

New and Shiny Cigarette Rolling Machine
Broken and Shitty Cigarette Rolling Machine